The GMC & D of Trick or Treat - Disaster

“The most successful people are those who are good at plan B.” - James Yorke

Previously on The GMC & D of Trick or Treat, we assembled the GMCD’s of three major characters: our heroine, Buffy, and her faithful sidekicks, Willow and Xander. We now introduce the villain of the piece and pick up where we left off.

While the Scoobies prepare for Halloween night, vampire villain Spike is plotting to add another notch to his slayer belt (goal). He’s well aware of the underworld tradition of playing nice on Halloween, but he’s never been one for conformity (character trait).

Plus, he’s emotionally invested. Dreamy, deranged Drusilla, his vampire squeeze, is in a weakened state. Spike plans to rid Sunnydale of its slayer so his girl can hunt and heal, worry-free (motivation). His conflict, of course, is the slayer herself.

To complicate matters, the costume shop owner, Ethan, has his own agenda. He begins chanting a spell to a creepy statue hidden in the backroom of his store. No good ever comes of secret chanting in Sunnydale. None. Trust me.

Back at Buffy’s, the girls change into their disguises. Buffy has pieced together a new look for Willow – low-cut belly shirt, leather mini-skirt, come-get-me boots. A heavy metal hussy with a genius IQ. Willow’s soul revolts but she’s too nice to say anything. She can’t toss the ghost sheet over her head fast enough when Xander arrives.

Xander is Private Hand-Me-Down, complete with recycled fatigues, dime-store dog-tags, and made-for-tots toy gun courtesy of Ethan’s shop. They head off to the high school to pick up their gaggle of grammar-schoolers.

Cordelia is dressed as – get this – a cat. Tight, leopard-print unitard, feline accessories, drawn-on whiskers. The writers at Buffy never miss an opportunity for irony.

Larry, a half-baked pirate, stalks over to Xander and sneers, "Where's your bodyguard, Harris? Curling her hair?" In the face of Xander's glare, Larry pretends to lunge. Xander flinches. Larry snickers and walks off. Xander aims his toy weapon at Larry's back, then lowers it, defeated. He tanks again.

Once everyone gleans their kiddie assignments, they hit the streets. The quest for the optimal candy cache is on. Meanwhile, Ethan lights black candles. The chanting gets louder. There’s Latin. And blood. It’s bad, folks. And about to get worse.

Abruptly the candles blow out and Ethan grins with merry malice. He has unhitched a floodgate, drenching Sunnydale in an invisible paranormal wave. One by one, the Scoobies and their charges are hit by something. Everyone is magically transformed into their Halloween costumes. Literally.

Creatures big and small swarm the sidewalks. Gargoyles, trolls, horned beasts. Claws and fangs. Warts and scales. Wings and webbing. People scream. Car alarms shriek. Chaos ignites as the more dangerous give chase to the less fortunate.

Willow collapses to the ground, lifeless, then re-awakens a real ghost. She rises out of the sheeted shell in her hard-rock regalia. Xander staggers then straightens, a fully functional M-16 clutched in his battle-hardened hands. Gone is the goofy grin and crispy quips. He is gun-ho GI-Joe, army of one.

Willow immediately searches for Buffy and Xander. Special Forces Xander doesn’t recognize her but is willing to join ranks. They turn to find Buffy stumbling towards them. Demons approach. Willow asks Buffy for guidance. Eighteenth century Buffy takes one look at the demons and faints dead away.

When she comes to, she doesn’t know who she - or anyone else - is. The slayer is a helpless, pre-suffragette heap. Amnesia abounds. Sunnydale has mutated into a monster mash Boris Karloff would envy. Major disaster.

Willow bemoans Buffy’s undercover camouflage. She couldn’t have dressed up as Xena, warrior princess? No. That was exactly what Buffy was trying to avoid. Being herself. Now what?

Never fear. Now Colonel Courageous, Xander pumps off a few rounds to scare the bad guys away. He’s duty-bound to mow down every menace until Willow reminds him they are real people under a spell. No shooting!

Stepping into the void left by Buffy’s Georgian make-over, Willow takes charge and decides they must get indoors to regroup. With Buffy out of commission, they need a Plan B. Willow leads them to the closest safe haven - Buffy’s house.

Xander stands guard and hears someone scream outside the door. He rushes out and rescues a woman dressed in a cat suit. Cordelia. Cordy apparently skipped memory deletion class and missed the conversion train. The Leona Helmsley of cattiness is always in costume. No need to upgrade. Hee, hee.

Willow has an idea. She tells them to sit tight and takes off, walking through walls. On the other side of town, Spike is elated by the mayhem. He couldn’t ask for better conditions to wage war. His fangs are tingling. Victory is assured.

Angel shows up at Buffy’s for another prearranged date, but neither Xander nor Buffy recognize him. Their up close and personal time will have to wait - again. Darn those pesky external obstacles.

Thankfully Cordy’s data banks are intact and she fills him in. But a vampire ambush frightens Buffy and she dashes from the house.

Willow nearly scares the life out of Giles when she materializes through the library wall. She explains the situation and realizes Cordy didn’t buy her getup at Ethan’s like everyone else. She also remembers Ethan being awfully accommodating when Buffy couldn’t afford to rent her Lady-of-the-Vapors vestment. Giles surmises the key to the spell lies there.

Spike prowls after Buffy while she cowers in an industrial area. She blunders upon Larry, who is now a real pirate. And not the yo-ho-ho, bottle of rum kind. The machete-wielding, murder-is-my-middle-name kind.

Avast! That’s all we have time for today. Tune in tomorrow for the dramatic conclusion and wrap-up. Savvy?

Dialogue in italics from, "Halloween", by Carl Ellsworth